The Social Hug
I am not good at social hugs, and I have made it a personal goal to improve in this area of social etiquette because as the leader of a nonprofit this feels like a real shortcoming. So I am trying understand the nature of social hugs.1. When do you hug?
For example, two members of our team who work in San Francisco were both working out of our NYC office this month for a day. When they saw each other in NYC they hugged. I asked if they hugged every morning in San Francisco and they said that they didn't. Why now?
2. Where do you put your arms?
You go for one arm up and one down and they go for two up or two down. Feels like a junior high school dance. I have been watching this and there is no real rhyme or reason to it.
3. Finally, who do you hug?
For many, it seems that anyone you have met before becomes a candidate. First meeting: handshake. Second: hug. Really?
Any wisdom to share?
My criteria:
Who:
- Close family members (all ages, all genders)
- Females I know socially or work closely with professionally (might also include a peck on te cheek)
- Occasionally: Males if it is a 'bonding moment' (i.e. wedding or other momentous occasion, teammate, @ sporting event, etc.); Females who are professional aquaintences but seem freindly and open to a more intimate greeting
How: I see every hug as unique and special. Everything from intesity, duration, sincerity, warmth, degree of awkwardness, inclusion of a back slap or back rub, etc. is dictated by a variety of environmental, social and emotional factors that would e virtually impossible to classify.
In Louisiana, if you know someone even remotely socially, a hug (and a kiss on the cheek if you're female) is to be expected. Strictly business relations only use handshakes.
Strange.
This really cheered me up because I'm bad at hugs too, but no one really talks about it. I like hugs,and because I'm petite people sure do like to hug me ... but I often assume the wrong position and I sometimes step on toes - yikes!
I'm a fan of the side hug, but maybe that's a cop out.
Social hug=social change. Check out the video
http://www.karmatube.org/videos.php?id=1
really pleasant web site, I am pleased I found it.